Saturday, April 10, 2010

the center cannot hold....

because it just seems like too much work.  for whatever reason lately,  i just cannot seem to get motivated.  procrastination has become the rule rather than the exception, and i would be willing to let it go if it made me happy, but all i feel right now is extreme guilt for being lazy, and agitation because everything around me seems to be cluttered and dusty and disorganized and covered in dog hair. 
i can't even seem to take care of myself lately.  it is just too much effort.  eating right?  meh.  exercising?  what is the point?
i hate being like this, but it really seems that more unmotivated i feel, the less likely it is that i will actually do anything.  i really need a kick in the butt. and some ideas on how to get started again. 
i know that having my new camera will help be inspired to go and do.  at least it will once the weather improves. and i know that once i get started, things will snowball, in the best possible way.  it has always happened that way before.  but in the meantime, i just need something, a little tiny something, to set me off.  to get me moving, and inspired, and excited about life again.  i can't wait.

posted by tangeria @ 6:09 PM   0 Comments

Friday, April 9, 2010

a saga of car shopping or the folly of giving your heart to a toyota rav 4

as a fairly impulsive person,  i have spent most of my life making snap decisions.  i try to keep the snap judgments to things and not people, and i would like to think that i am mostly successful.i can usually decide in a matter of minutes if i am going to make a purchase, or start a project, or paint the house. and i almost never have any regrets. i just decide and do.
however, i married a ponderer. and overly thrifty soul.
i tease him about being a pollack, but i really wonder if this need to over consider every miniscule detail of everything is a racial or familial characteristic, or if it is possibly the first warning symptom of a coming obsessive compulsive episode.  for example.  we are looking to buy a new car for me to drive.  we have both begun to get the feeling that the little car i drive now is rapidly approaching entrance to that great big drive-in theater in the sky.  so for nearly a year, he has been picking up "Auto-Trader" and the "nickle-nick" at the grocery store on a weekly basis, and poring over the pages with intense concentrations.  so imaging my surprise when i find that he is not in anyway way ready to buy, he just wants to know what is out there.
I don't work that way.   I don't want to look UNTIL i am ready to buy, because i will find something, fall in love with it, and then be unable to HAVE it.
which brings me to my present predicament.  after having found the "perfect" car, a 1999 toyota rav 4, in great condition, with low(ish) miles, and most importantly,a nice exterior,  leather seats and a sunroof for a very good price, his need to bargain raises its head.  after having a mechanic check the car out, he proceeds to offer the owner $1,200 less than she is asking for it.  in my mind that is quite a step down in price.  and i am guessing the owner thought so too, as that was the last we heard of her.
the moral of this story is either, a.  don't take my husband car shopping anymore, or b. try not to care about the car i am looking at, so as not to be disappointed.  because i am pretty sure, he isn't going to be changing the way he does things anytime soon.
and the absolute worst part is that i shouldn't be  mad, (even though i am, a little), because he was just trying to get us the best deal.
but i REALLY loved that little toyota.  it was black.  and really cute.  and i did  i mention the sunroof?

posted by tangeria @ 8:36 AM   0 Comments