Thursday, March 22, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
and i miss things. i miss my parents and brother, who recently moved across the state. i miss my job running a press, which i didn't think would be an issue. i miss my motivation. i miss my self control. i miss being creative. i miss spring. i miss adventures. i miss the person i was before i realized that i should probably start being responsible. i miss the person i was before i found out how freaking SCARY the world can be. i miss being fine with being alone. i miss my old figure. i miss the zest things used to have, and i know that mostly this is just a mood, and that there are definite actions i can take to change or fix some of the things that i miss.... i just seem to miss the drive i need to get up and do them. here is hoping that better times are coming.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
this is my traditional time of year for cabin fever...
maybe the biggest issue is that i have apparently lost my sense of adventure. i used to go everywhere by myself. i even enjoyed it. all i needed was a book, and lots of good music, and i didn't mind being on my own. in fact, i have always been a little solitary by nature. but in the last 10 years, i seem to have forgotten how to go by myself. and my husband is a worker by nature. he loves to be home, working. working on the porch, working on the fence, working on the car. he isn't the best at spontaneously jumping in the car and heading away for day. and i hate to ask him all the time.
so, until i get braver, or he gets ready for a break, or i find something else to distract me, i have pictures of my past adventures to get me by. i have lots and lots of pictures. and i can plan for my future trips and adventures when i will come home with lots and lots more.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
oh well.... soon enough.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
is it really a new beginning when you do it every six months?
probably the most important thing though, this year, will be to know ahead of time that there will times when i wuss out, or get lazy, or fall in a hole and that it will be okay. it doesn't make me a bad person, it doesn't make me worthless, it doesn't make me incapable of following through on anything.... it just makes me human. i deserve the same consideration toward myself that i offer others.
so it is bittersweet to start over, yet again, but it is hopeful too. and i just need to keep reminding myself of that.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011