Saturday, October 31, 2009

i can do it!

here we are, preparing to "celebrate" another halloween. which, for me means staying home, eating a jack o'lantern shape pizza and watching the five scariest episodes of the ghost hunters. EVER! last year, i made a solemn vow to not leave the house again on halloween as the whole world tends to go mad. after weeks of watching a family member try to recover (unsuccessfully) from the fall out, i decided that it just wasn't worth it anymore. i don't drink, i don't party, so why not stay home?
but don't think for a minute that means i won't be dressing up. i am... in fact during the "safe" daytime hours, i am going to manufacture as many errands as i can think of, all so people can enjoy the splendor and eye searing cuteness that is me, dressed up as rosie the riveter. ta-da! and of course, since i am totally enamored of looking a photos of myself (ALL THE TIME) pictures to follow.
Happy Halloween kids!

posted by tangeria @ 9:13 AM   0 Comments

Monday, October 5, 2009

does this couch make my butt look big?

as a direct result of a late night trip to hasting's on friday night, i spent a truly appalling amount of time with my butt firmly wedged into the groove i have previously worn into the couch cushion. i know i shouldn't have spent the money, but i just couldn't resist buying season two of the x-files on dvd. and of course, once purchased, it has to be viewed IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner. (it isn't even a relevant show that i couldn't tear myself away from.)
the only thing that kept me from finishing all twenty five episodes (i have two and a half to go!) is that i couldn't figure out how to get the tv and dvd player into the shower without electrocuting myself.
oh, the shame... oh, the horror... oh, i had better get some more microwave popcorn, so i have snack while i finish watching it tonight.

posted by tangeria @ 1:32 PM   0 Comments

Friday, October 2, 2009

tuna casserole anyone?

i have to admit, that while i would love to be taken for a sophisticated, elegant "lady" type, the sad fact of the matter is that i really, really love tuna casserole. in the interest of full disclosure, i really, really like a lot of foods that could be termed, for lack of anything better, "white trash".
i am talking fried spam sandwiches, chili mac, pigs in a blanket, velveeta only grilled cheese sandwiches, bakery frosting, and i have a nearly unholy love of brown sugar and cinnamon pop-tarts. but i have recently discovered something else about myself. i am often more interested in the description of a food item, than i am in actually eating. so, i borrowed a few tricks to make myself feel better about my decidedly low class eating habits.
therefore, pigs in a blanket are now par-boiled tube steaks enrobed in a flaky crescent roll. tuna casserole is now a baked pasta and flaky fish in a creamy mushroom gravy, topped with a golden layer of bubbly melted cheddar cheese. sounds delish, no?
so, anyone up for an exotic spiced ham, pan seared and topped with caramelized pineapple, on a sliced artisan loaf, with a creamy emulsion? (fried spam sammich with pineapple and mayo... boy that really hits the spot!)

posted by tangeria @ 12:14 PM   0 Comments

Thursday, October 1, 2009

how did THOSE get there?!

okay, perhaps a little back story is needed. i live in an old house. it was built in 1907, and has hardly been changed at all in the hundred plus years since. now, on the one hand it is pretty cool to live in an older house, living history, lots of character, blah blah blah.... on the other, it is riddled with inconveniences and the kind of quirks that realtors love to point out as unique, but in reality are ginormous pains in the you-know-where. things like one electrical outlet per room. the original knob and tube wiring that leads to many prayers of protection from fire, every time we try to run a vacuum (which oddly enough, given the presence of three dogs, is not that often). no insulation. and no lighting in the living room which is where i do my makeup in the mornings, since the fluorescent light in the bathroom would give a swiss milk maid the yellowed complexion of pony-keg-a-day drinker.
now even with three strong table lamps in the living room, the light is not the best. there have been occasions, on arriving at work, where my dad has asked why my face is all bruised, and i have had to remove the several pounds of blush i had previously applied to combat my at home pallor. these are minor things that can be easily dealt with.
today however, i nearly wee'd myself when the light hit me just right, for what did i see on my face, but two eyebrows of gandalf-ian proportions! (but i am glad to say, it was indeed two eyebrows i saw, and not the dreaded uni brow) i would not be surprised to find that these eyebrows have gained wizard powers of their own. but not to fear! i shall forthwith vanquish the monstrosities with the timely application of my own brand of magic...tweezerman slanted tip tweezers. now once more into the fray good gentle persons!

posted by tangeria @ 4:55 PM   0 Comments

you say moody, i say temperamental...

so like the total book dork i am (my nickname in junior high and high school was, i kid you not, book maggot [cuz it was so much more than being a book worm ]), i actually looked up the definition of temperamental, just to be sure i knew what i was talking about. it is official. while my husband would say i am moody, in my quest for total self-delusion, i have decided to go with temperamental. it really doesn't matter that THEY ARE THE SAME THING!!!! no, no, moody sounds unpleasant and hormonal, while the other is redolent of poetic artsy fartsiness. you know, heathcliff and cathy on the moors, lord byron, dying of consumption, just all that romantic stuff. and in theory, it gives m license to act all weird, since you know artists and creative types...they are all so TEMPERAMENTAL. the sad truth of the matter is, it is probably just plain old moodiness, and i should just get over myself.

on a mostly unrelated note, on my trip through the dictionary, i found my new favorite word of the week!
*ahem* Slopwork - (noun) 1. The manufacture of cheap ready made clothes (is there any other kind?!) 2. Such clothes themselves (see above note) 3. Any work of inferior quality (that's my specialty!)

posted by tangeria @ 12:53 PM   1 Comments