Sunday, January 3, 2010

i'm bringing andi back...

every year, at about this time, i tend to get a little stir-crazy.  i think it has to do with the ending of the holiday season, which, love it or hate it, does tend to take up a lot of time, and attention.  add to that the fact that spring is still several months away,  and you have a recipe for the the winter crazies.  (at least I  do.)
there is so much focus that is put on "starting fresh",  "starting your diet", blah, blah, blah, and so on, and so forth, i sometimes like to just chill out, and look at vacation pictures. 
now, vacation pictures are a strange thing.  being forced to look at anyone else's is like a trip to the endodontist without insurance and the benefit of an anesthetic.  but your own  pictures are the most interesting and memorable pictures of all time.  
i have been very lucky to have wonderful vacations in the last several years.  i have more pictures than i care to admit (and most of them i took of myself.  hey, if i don't do it, who will?)  but looking at them today, did more than just remind me of what a great time we had.  it reminded me of who i was becoming then,  who i wanted to be, and how  i have kind of let that me slip away lately. 
some of that has to do with weight of course.  i have perfected the art of yo-yo dieting, and to be honest, i am pretty sick of it.   some of it has to do what i think people want from me, and expect from me.  and part of it has to do with what i thought it meant to be a responsible adult.  well, thank goodness i have snapped out of that  particular misconception.  
so my plan, as of now, is to find the picture that i think best shows the real me.  happy,  creative, fully in the moment, and not worried about what everyone else thinks.  i will print out a copy and keep it with me,  as a kind of personal reference map, to keep in touch with where i want to go.  i know i can do it, because i already have.  and of course, i have the pictures to prove it.

posted by tangeria @ 9:42 PM  


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