Saturday, July 11, 2009

a random mish mash

it has only been a little over a month since vacation, and i am already champing at the bit for my next one. i am sure that is partially since i will actually get to go somewhere this time, and i love the oregon coast, almost beyond words. the majority of the reason though, is that i am just kind of burned out on everything around here. while home ownership is fantastic for the most part, there is a never ending list of things to fixed, cleaned, mowed, just cared for in general. and when you are married to a "workaholic" there is very little time left over to just play. he seems to enjoy constantly having something to work on, and while he doesn't necessarily expect me to be the same way, it makes me feel guilty to not be working just as hard as he is. then he will say things like, "i wish you had some friends to go and do this stuff with..." whenever i ask to go with him and do things. i have never been the type to be crowded with friends, and i do have a few friends in town that i see on occasion, but now i wonder how much of a freak i really am. i have gotten fairly insular, especially since i got married. and i used to go places myself all the time, but now, even thinking of going to the park to take pictures makes me pause, unless he can go with me.
maybe the problem, is not that i need to take another vacation, but that i need to start stretching myself on a daily basis. i should actively inhabit life, rather than just taking it as it comes. then question then is, is that so totally out of character for me that it can't be done? or have i gotten the way i feel i am now out of sheer laziness, and complacency?

posted by tangeria @ 8:53 AM  


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